I wish I knew the answer for you.  Unfortunately, the answer and treatments are different for every person.  I had a rough go of things during my teen years, and considered suicide a few times.  The thing that stopped me was thinking about the people I would leave behind, and how they would feel.  I did not want to hurt my friends and family, just ease my own pain.

Ever had reiki?

If not, look into it. And maybe acupuncture.

If regular therapy and medication isn't helping, it's high time to look at working with yourself energetically. Reiki is an especially powerful form of energy work. So is acupuncture. So is the practice of tai chi. If you can find a class, it would probably be a good thing.

And sooner rather than later. You need this right away.

I have had depression for many, many years and it is a continual struggle. Much of the time I would rather be dead, and I dont much care if it upsets other people. Acupuncture did nothing at all for me - waste of money. Haven't tried Reiki.
I have  Cognitive Behaviour therapist and I find her a great help - the best I've seen. Most of my therapists have been useless and actually made me worse. This one is brilliant!
One very small thing - I am much better if I have linseed and flax oil every day along with lecithin.Certainly since I have been taking it - about 6 months - I haven't had the really bad episodes which I used to have ( 3 days in bed with a bottle of sleeping pills)
I don't know.....I honesttly know what it is like to wake up day after day and wish you hadn't....

Ah, you see the trouble with depression is that it takes away all will to fight it - when it is really bad. You have to try to remember that IT WILL PASS! I was on citalopram ( a prozac group drug) and it helped in the short term. I stopped taking it in January, lots of reasons, buut I have been better since.
I get CBT free now - but it was hard to get. ( I have seen various peope over the years....) It's not very pleasant sometimes, but I ALWAYS feel better after it.
I also know that depression is chemical - I KNOW I should not take recreational drugs or drink - bu of course, I do, because in the short term they help.
The way I take linseed etc is in a protein shake - I really like it and it is super healthy! I also do quite alot of exercise - which now I really need to do.
I have to say that the current bout of depression I have is the worst I've ever had - completicated by many things, but it is getting better...slowly, but it is...

Cuddles wrote on Oct 19^th, 2009 at 3:16pm:

The mistake is in thinking this is permanent. It doesn't have to be.

Hello cuddles

Do you believe in human twofold identity, spiritual and material? As the nature of man is twofold, consequently his problems are material and spiritual too. The cause of depression could be physical and or emotional.
The former is relates to the diet (chemical imbalance: deficiency or excess of chemicals in the body) and the latter to the emotional reactions of the people which differ according to their sensitivity.
Women are more sensitive and consequently they are more emotional than men. This causes women to be more exposed to depression (In the West, 68% of women, and 42% of men).

The spiritual and physical entities of man are inseparable in this world. The emotions can affect the chemical (as in stomach ulcer), and chemicals can affect emotional by changing the balance of the brain creating different symptoms of depression.
Depression can be treated spiritually and materially or both, so it is with the treatment in which both exercise and medication in one hand and prayer and meditation in the other, would be useful.

Today's modern world especially in the Western philosophical outlooks on life, the majority of people think that life is just material and consequently our success in life should be materially rather than spiritually.

We have to discover our spiritual nature and let it be evolving by every passing day. 

Trying the spiritual side of our nature to evolve, we can connect our spirit with the greatest power of the world by praying and asking our Creator to help us in our endeavours.

Materially, by means of exercise and medicine, I believe in Chinese medicine.

At the end I suggest to read a book by the title: "Relief of Tension, depression and Anxiety through Spiritual living" By: Swami Tathagatananda.

You have tried all sorts of treatments, would you try Chinese medicine, using Biochemic Tissue Salts, Exercise, reading books and more important of all Prayer. I can quote some prayers for you to say and meditate on them, if you believe in prayers. I believe in prayer and pray for you.   God bless you

Quest wrote on Oct 21^st, 2009 at 9:26am:



Right, of course. But so many people are adapted to this "modern world", modern living... so many people are immune from the type of depression/alienation which strikes me! They cannot see anything wrong with a material world and a material life.

griselda wrote on Oct 23^rd, 2009 at 6:12am:

This makes me think of an alternative translation from the Beatitudes: "It is the sign of the prophets and prophetesses to feel the disunity around them intensely."

From Prayers of the Cosmos by Neil Douglas-Klotz, if anyone's interested.

And before we hijack this thread any further... how are you doing, Cuddles?

^  Actually, everything around us has greater value when it's used to make others happy.

Provide examples Melik! Everything you say is so abstract.....

horace wimp wrote on Oct 26^th, 2009 at 10:30am:


Lilac has been linked to suicide...when used on walls apparently!
I don't like to be in untidy places - my sister's house is always really depressing - untidy, smelling of dog breath, and grubby with oil and stuff. I don't know - when I was working I always had nice rooms - not that I was given them, once I had to use a changing room with no windows for a year - but it looked great. It's just where I live....I can't see the relevance. ( I do have a problem with the word 'home' and all its conotations of middle class and family....just what I don't like)
Designer stuff....it probably is fake, Elise, but so what? I can honestly say that a good fake is identical to the real thing - and actually, it's such a joke - who looks more silly - the person who spent £1200 on a handbag, or the one who spent £60 for the IDENTICAL thing? And where are all these genuine things made? Yes, China.....
( Oh - a friend of mine bought a pair of Prada sunglasses in John Lewis - 2 years later, they broke, and because she is like that - she took them back, with the receipt. They sent them off to be repaired - they are FAKES! )
Oh - sorry for going o/t.

Cuddles don't think like that
just hold in there

you read some of these posts of people who felt like you and felt better
it'll happen to you